From the Director's Chair

Opinion, news commentary, behind the scenes look at our station from our newscast director.

Sep
22
12:13AM | posted by Director L Extraordinaire | comments: 1

Ben & Jerry's yogurt is a G-d send...

Yum, yum, yum, yummy... 

I'm sitting here in my home office indulging in a small tub of B&J's FroYo Chocolate Fudge Brownie yogurt. No matter how crap-tastic one's day may have been (of course, with exceptions... sigh, damned realists...) a little frozen treat helps to relieve some of the BS. 

Yes, yes, I know it's been a while since my last entry. What can I say? We directors get quite busy. Plus I'm also the President of our cubicle at work. So I've got a ton of code enforcing I also have to look out for. We just got our newest member to our cubicle (we lost the out-of-towner we had before... frankly, she just didn't get American humor.  I pity the Dutch... fantastic chocolate, but when you have to stop and explain the joke, it's just no longer worth repeating.  Kidding, kidding, still love ya Pelps!) Our newest member is quite alright, although it'll take a bit to get her fully involved in the cube's business procedures. 

We're currently in the process of building a new set. Our newscast will have an entirely different look to them soon. I'm rather excited about this... but of course, the challenge is what I'm really looking forward to.  

Damnit... as I write this I'm also updating my mom's GPS navigation system... why in the hell it thinks I'm currently in Bangladesh I'll never know. 

Sigh. I'm at the end of my tub of FroYo.  

Hey, look at that... the GPS now places me in Canada.  Its at least got me in the correct continent. 

Woot for small victories. 

And for small tubs of chocolatey goodness. 

Hey, hey, Texas... getting warmer! 






I'm buying her a paper map. 


Jul
27
10:25PM | posted by Director L Extraordinaire | comments: 0

Vintage...

Perhaps as I've gotten older I've grown more mellow.  Or perhaps its the fact that I've got two small kids and a wife that demand more of my time now than my career once did.  Or perhaps I've grown wiser with age... (I somehow doubt that one. But one can wish, right?) 

Anyhow, my point was this... erh... was that... hmm... was... well... 

Damnit. I had a great metaphor that defined the moment, but I lost it. 

Oh yeah, that was it... one seems to forget more with age (ouch... frankly, thats not a metaphor at all.  That was just lousy.) 

Ask me what our meteorologist was talking about during their time on air, I couldn't tell you. 

Ask me what our second story of the evening was, I couldn't tell you. 

Ask me what the time our second break was, I couldn't tell you. 

Ask me what time my son was born, that I can tell you immediately: 3:33 pm. 

Ask me where I was when I found out my father passed away, I can tell you: at work, waiting to go on air (heavy, I know, but it came to mind...) 

Ask me to borrow my bass and I'll tell you to take a flying leap (alright, alright, you can borrow it but you're taking the shitty Squire and I'm still watching you like a hawk.) 

Point is this: when I was young and dumb and new to the business, I was all about it. I lived it, breathed it, smoked it, ate it, crapped it... all of it. You couldn't get me out of the office. 

Now, I'm still all about directing and producing a quality product.  And I make it a point to stress that with my crew as well.  But damnit if life doesn't have a way of rearranging your priorities, and for the better, I say. 

By the way, I still couldn't tell you some of the story details from the shows... its not cause I don't care, I'm just rather busy putting the show on air. 

I find myself giving the newbs the glares the old birds used to give me when I was still wet behind the ears. At least now I understand why they did it.  But opposed to them, I will adamantly refuse to go down the path of mediocrity and blah.  I still want to push the envelope of what we, but mostly of what I, can do. 

So for the ever evolving news product that is our show, I welcome the daily challenge. 

Change is the only constant. 

And speaking of change, don't ask me for change of a dollar... there's a damned machine for that in the break room. 

Again, I'll end on a joke: 

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

(That one may take some a while...) 





12:17AM | posted by Director L Extraordinaire | comments: 0

WTF...

F**king prompter. 

Notice I ended that sentence with a period (.) and not an exclamation point ((!) As if I had to illustrate those tools of the English language... but one never knows). An exclamation point would denote some sort of surprise or shock or a sense that it was unexpected of the prompter to somehow fail.  But no, no exclamation point. 

I will say this, however: the recovery and on air presentation of the newscast still came off clean.  Not necessarily in the order or manner in which it was planned, but still... small victories. I'll take them when they come. 

You'll also kindly notice the header of this blog entry... that's usually the reaction we (directors, producers, cam ops, whomever...) have, sometimes mild sometimes not (mostly not), to such ordeals. 

Ahh... the lack of control.  

The one constant in television newscasts: as much as we'd like to pretend we're in control, we're just merely riding a mostly well timed wave of small chaotic events. Sometimes there is a burp... a big nasty, stinky burp and not one of those "small, no-one-heard-that-in-polite- company burps" that disrupts the hell out of a show. The important aspect, and probably my best metric of any person in distress during a show, is how well they can respond and recover from that "belch from hell." 

For the most part I think that I've surrounded myself with a good crew that can handle most if not all emergencies with ease and grace. But boy, oh boy, there are some nights... thankfully tonight wasn't one of those. 

On the bright side is this: no one has died due to a bad show.  

Well, I take that back, someone once did... but that was a long time ago and I don't care to talk about it. 

Notice I made that period very large. It means, "Don't ask!" 

For now I'll just accept that it will happen again (the bad show part and not the dying part... whew, glad I cleared that up...) and hope to great googly moogly our (my) recovery will be just what was needed. Cooler heads will always prevail... 

...hopefully. 



Now I'll leave you with a joke: Two nuns were sitting on a bench in a park when a man in a trench coat came by and flashed them. One nun had a stroke...


The other one missed. 


Damnit. I was going to type my disclaimer here but I've forgotten what I typed. And no, CTRL C, CTRL V won't save me this time... just too damned lazy. 











Jul
25
11:43PM | posted by Director L Extraordinaire | comments: 0

New digs...

***Sniff...sniff***

Hmm....

***Sniff...***

Smells like new digs.

***Looks around...***

I guess this is what Columbus felt like... breaking new ground on "new found" lands.

Of course we all know that the natives were staring at the Italian wondering what exactly "new" Columbus had found, and so too, blogs are not new.  But damnit, they are to me (at least the actual authoring of one, that is.)

So here we go, intrepid explorers, venturing into "new" lands of blogging adventures, hoping that you will at least find my words entertaining if not at least convenient enough to help you kill time with.

What I'm striving for, ultimately, is a back door view into what goes on in a director's noggin... his/her thought processes, rants, raves, and perceptions. Oddly enough, they (they being those things previously listed) will be mostly from MY experience (as I haven't yet perfected the art of mind reading and my Vulcan mind meld is on the fritz lately...) So prepare to read some really jaded... oh, wait... can I say this here?

***Breaks out Blogging 101 Pamphlet***

Hmm...

Yup, sure can...

***Cracks knuckles and re-approaches keyboard...***

So prepare to read some really jaded commentaries, off-the-wall remarks, thoughtful/less insights, and overall shit as I attempt to drag you with, whether you care to or not, into the empty cavernous cranium that resides atop my shoulders, as I direct my shows.

Just don't give me any lip.

Well, at least make it freakin' witty.

I'll forgive wit.

***Sniffs yet again...***

I swear I smell papayas... these damn natives have fruit trees! 



Disclaimer: 89% of the stuff I write is with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I just won't divulge which part.  Also, the opinions expressed are mine and mine alone! Mine I tells ya! MINE!!!!!!!

Bwhahahahahahahahahaah!!!

Sorry...

Mad director moment.