Every time a camera clicks a teenage boy in booty shorts cries in his room, he wonders why the world is so unjust and how could it be so cruel. How is it possible that a bevy of beautiful people with an almost sexual proximity to fabulous designers, a constant cascade of free clothes, and a fifty-five-person team of sycophants charged with waxing their toe hair fail to look fab at every moment? His guess is as good as mine. But somehow the entertaining elite does it, and that gives us a good giggle on even our most menstrual of days.
I digress. You want my vote for the crappiest dressed celebrity of ‘07. Oh come now…I can’t possibly choose just one! Choosing one is like trying to decide which potato chip to eat from a super-bowl-party-sized bag. One of the glorious things about cracked-out celebrity fashion is the fact that we realize that being rich and famous doesn’t mean you can’t look like a geriatric hooker on meth.
Each raunchy crotch shot and micro-mini-camouflage tube dress helps raise the self-esteem of millions of conflicted people who would otherwise fret and flirt with the idea of anorexia. Is it wrong that all 47 of the famous people I think dress tragically, make me feel a little bit better about myself? I’m wicked, I know. And now, thanks to bootleg celebrity fashion we all recognize that not only are celebrities real people with cellulite, but more importantly that a $19.99 fashion faux pas looks just as awful as a $90,000 one.
-laquitable
